None of Them Knew
by KeepOnDreaming
Summary: None of them could see the truth, until he knocked on the door. MorganxReid. SLASH. Sort of dark. Companion piece up "He Knew"


A/N -- Hello my pretties. I just thought that I would give you this wonderful story. I like it, most of it, and I hope you like it too. There really isn't much to say except I would love any kind of feedback that you wish to give me.

Disclaimer -- I do not own Criminal Minds or any related characters.

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None of them knew the truth about him. They all thought he was the scrawny little genius, nerdy little virgin, weak little Reid. They thought he was a joke, that he belonged in some office, prescribing drugs to rich people. He shouldn't be on the team, he shouldn't be in the field, he shouldn't be an FBI agent. 

He knew this, knew what they thought of him. He knew that they lied to his face, acted like his friends, pretended to care. He was sick of it, he just wished they would tell the truth, put their hatred in the open. He wanted to stop pretending, to get rid of all of the fake smiles, to stop playing a part.

He liked to go out at night. Clubs, bars, parties, whatever was available. He just wanted to be real for a little while. He never went to get drunk or drugged, because then he wouldn't be real, he would be an outlet for a chemical. He would stay sober, only drinking water. He would dance at the clubs, writhe in the mass of sweat and flesh that was the dance floor. No one he worked with would recognize him. He would always go home with someone, a random guy. He would never ask for a name, and when they wanted his he would lie. Random sex in the bathroom of a stranger's house was far too common in his nights. Waking up in an unknown location was too.

He was never late to work though, always got his act together by nine, just in time for work. He would walk through the door and be skinny, scrawny, Spencer again. He would travel for the cases, and party in strange towns, never getting caught by his teammates. He thought they had to know, that there was no way that they couldn't, but they didn't. They only saw what they wanted to, not what was right in front of them.

One day things changed. He was getting ready to go out in the town they were staying in. it was big enough to have the kind of bar he was looking for.

Morgan knocked on the door, wanted to talk about the case, he answered in his club clothes, tight pants and a tighter shirt. It seemed as if an entire lifespan passed as Derek looked at Spencer for once, really looked and saw what they had all been missing.

The silence was broken by a door closing further down the hallway, Spencer grabbed Derek into the room, he couldn't be seen, not like this. While he hated the lies everyone else liked them, he wasn't going to get in trouble for being himself.

Inside the room Derek continued to stare at him as if he was some suspect or something. He wasn't ashamed, but the scrutiny was getting to him.

"We've all missed it haven't we?"

Spencer looked at the man who now knew his secret, the man who knew him when he was fake, but saw him when he was real.

"You've always been like this, we just never saw it. We all just saw what we wanted to, never assumed there was anything deeper."

Spencer was getting annoyed, he didn't need Derek analyzing him now, he needed to get out, he needed to be real.

"Well, you know what happens when you assume."

"I never figured a genius would need a pneumonic device to remember how to spell a word."

He was smiling and Spencer couldn't help but reciprocate. They continued to stand there, Derek taking it all in, and Spencer fidgeting, waiting to get out, waiting to be who he wanted.

"What club were you planning on going to?"

Spencer didn't know why he was asking it was none of his business, then again, Spencer didn't know why he answered.

"The Berlin."

It was simple, straight forward. They had come across the name of the club during their investigation, checked it out as a side note. Still, if Derek didn't realize the clientele of the club, he was less of a profiler than Spencer could have imagined.

"We missed more than I thought."

That was simple too. It was acceptance in a sentence, something to allow for normal working conditions, despite the new knowledge.

"Why though?"

Spencer looked up confused. 'Why?' He had never thought of that before. It had always been,

"To feel real."

It was Derek's turn to look confused. He hadn't expected an answer, not really, and if he had, it hadn't been this. Something that was so revealing yet so elusive that it opened more questions than it answered.

"I'm sick of playing a part, I just want to be me."

Trying to clarify, it just seemed to upset him.

"You think you're the only one with a part? The world's a stage, and we are merely actors."

"That's not how the quote goes, or what it means."

"That's not the point."

Derek stepped closer, into Spencer's personal space. The two stared at one another for awhile, eyes locked as if communicating without words.

"I just want to be me."

A repeat, more meaning than the last.

"So do I."

A revelation unexpected and expected at the same time.

The stare continued and didn't break until Derek moved forward, playing his part for just a bit longer. Their lips met. The kiss was sweet, chaste, something Spencer hasn't done in a long time.

"Are you playing now?"

A question both are thinking, both asked.

"No, I don't need to."

An answer both are feeling, both said.

That night he felt more real than he had before. He never went to a party again, no more sex in strangers' bathrooms. He never went to a club alone, no more writhing faceless in a crowd. He never went to a bar for a hookup, no more nameless nights.

Derek and Spencer still played their parts at work, the tough guy and the nerd, but together they were real, and none of the others knew.


End file.
